As March Madness consumes everyone (be it the basketball version or the late-night on Sunday passing health care through the House of Representatives version), it seems a good time to touch on some of the moments that struck the collective fancy this week...
While the economy strangles so many, a moment of extreme spending that makes people happy took place Sunday. Joe Mauer, native of St. Paul, MN, signed a contract extension with the Minnesota Twins that guarantees him remaining in Minnesota through most of his career. The contract is for eight years and pays him eleventy-seven billion dollars over that span. (Ok, it is for $184 million, averaging $23 million per year, but that feels like eleventy-seven billion to us normal folks)
It is likely that Mauer, a 27-year old catcher who has won three batting titles and last year's Most Valuable Player award, would have received offers from the Yankees and Red Sox as a free agent next year that would have been in the 10-year/$300 million range to start with, and could have gone much higher, but the decision to sign for less to play at home will deify Mauer in his hometown. The Twins have historically let its superstars move on when the price got too high (see Johan Santana and Torii Hunter recently), due to the small-market economics that make up baseball. Three things worked out in favor of our beloved Twins in this instance:
1) Joe Mauer is the MAN.
Mauer was raised in a nice area of Saint Paul, starred in three sports at Cretin-Derham Hall (they always killed 7DB on the basketball court, waaaaay before Mauer was of age...back when they had to climb a ladder and pull the ball out of the peach basket and all...), and is surrounded by extended family in the area. Having spent many formative years in the area, 7DB can attest to how important that could be to a guy like Joe.
2) Joe's agent was also the agent of Kirby Puckett
Puckett, the late Hall of Famer that led the Twins to their two World Series victories in 1987 and 1991, was a free agent late in his career. The Chicago native got an offer for a nice raise from the White Sox, but his agent (Ron Shapiro) knew what staying with the team that drafted him was worth to all involved. The Twins gave up about 80% of what the White Sox offered, but could afford little more. No matter. Puckett stayed home, won another World Series and went directly to the Hall of Fame. Twins fans and baseball purists rejoiced. (Shapiro also represented Cal Ripken, Jr., who spent his entire career in Baltimore and went straight to Cooperstown as well.)
Mauer idolized Puckett as a kid, and the idea that he could have the same agent and play for the same team (The Twins drafted him #1 overall, passing on other people thought to be more talented) for life has strong appeal to a guy of his sensibilities.
3) The Twins stepped up...huge.
The contract is one of the largest ever in the history of the sport, and more than double the largest ever given to a catcher. Catching 140-plus games per year wears out players much faster than playing other positions in the field, and guaranteeing $23 mil per year until a guy is 35 to play catcher is no automatic choice. The Twins are still a small-market squad (and this contract does hamstring them a bit for future signings), even with the new stadium opening this year.
This was a signal to all of baseball and all of Minnesota that they understand Mauer's impact on the team and the region. Thousands of kids will grow up watching #7 play his heart out every game, and will do so wearing the same piece of laundry the whole way. Fans that have become cynical of the game and the money surrounding it will take heart in Mauer's signing, and the Twins organization will reap the proper benefits of that.
This may be the most heartening bit of news to cross the wires this calendar year in the world of sports. Joe Mauer alone may have brought many back into the baseball fold, and for that, 7DB thank him, Ron Shapiro and the Twins.
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The last player that attended BYU that even registered a blink from the eyes of the average American is probably Jim McMahon, and that was mostly for his ridiculous headbands. Jimmer Fredette led the Cougars into the NCAA tournament, then poured in 37 to help win a double-OT thriller and advance to the second round (BYU's first tourney win in 17 years).
Oh, and he goes by 'Jimmer'. Like that isn't an automatic WTF from the casual fan...
Fredette's draft stock shot way up based on his play this year, and fans should watch another BYU alum, one Danny Ainge, to see if Fredette could be wearing the Celtic green next season. Consider yourself warned...
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A few quick hits on health care reform, passed through the House of Reps late Sunday night:
-Barack Obama was elected in part on his promises to break through partisanship and make Congress work for the people. A quick look at the results says he was successful, as he made 34 people from his own party vote against his bill, while unifying Republicans like no candidate/elected official has in 20 years. Well played, Mr. President.
-Since the versions presented before did not pass the smell test, Obama and the Pelosi-led Congresspeople devised a way to prevent needing more than a simple majority to pass reform. Ignoring the concept that this goes against the spirit of the law, the backlash against those from particular districts that supported this maneuver will be swift. Watch the ballots fly in November coming up...
-The revisions still have to get ok'd by the Senate, but presumably under the same 'simple majority'. Polling suggests that less than 40% of voters support this version of reform, but many have been worn down by the badgering approach to getting 'something, anything' passed. Not to be a broken record about it, but ask any bar patron that stayed at the bar until 1:30 am looking for companionship how that usually works out.
-The promise that this will eventually make money for the government was part of the justification, suggesting that it would not 'cost' anything at some point in the future. Knowing what we all know about government and money, does anyone believe this? If there is a budget surplus from this, it will be spent in some other way, instead of paying down the whopping debt that the stimulus and other things have created. If there is not a surplus, the President who pushed it through and the Congressmen and -women will be long gone, enjoying their rather comfortable pensions. My unborn children will be holding the bag.
In short, this better work perfectly, or there will be Heck to pay. And by Heck, I mean tens of thousands of dollars per person in tax overruns.
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Michael Jordan has become the primary owner of the NBA's Charlotte Bobcats, the first former player to have a controlling interest in a team. After Jordan's completely classless Hall of Fame induction earlier this year, the league approved the ownership change faster than one had ever been approved. Some attribute this to Jordan's star power, others point out that any stable buyer in this economy is a good thing for the NBA as a whole. I forward a different thought...
The man who bought the expansion franchise to begin with, BET founder Robert Johnson, came in as the first minority owner in the sport's history. In a sport that has between 75 and 85 percent of its players being minorities, this was a long-awaited moment for the league, and a very important step to show the players that there is no limit to how far their influence as people can go, regardless of the past. Keeping the team in minority ownership (still the only team in the NBA held and controlled by a non-white) was key. Jordan's history of gambling problems and infidelity were not deterrents.
In the NFL, an ownership group was turned down to buy the St. Louis Rams last year because one of its small investors was Rush Limbaugh. The rest of the ownership group, led by former team executive of the New York Knicks and Utah Jazz Dave Checketts, promptly kicked Limbaugh out of the group after the uproar. (They then lost the bid to buy the Rams anyways.)
This all brings back the question: does anyone care who owns their teams? Donald Sterling lost a tenant-discrimination lawsuit for over $2 million, yet owns the LA Clippers of the NBA. No one seems to care. It seems that David Stern wants people to care, but just about Jordan, since he makes for good copy. The league will make much out of Jordan's presence for a multitude of reasons, but it should be noted that the Russian plutocrat that agreed to buy the New Jersey Nets and develop some old rail yards in New Jersey is still 'being evaluated' for his worthiness in the ownership clique. Apparently being a poor sport of a competitor, gambling away millions of dollars and cheating on your spouse is ok, as long as you are not from the old Soviet Republic.
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One last athletics-related thought to share...recently the 7DB Clan attended many local high school basketball games. It is marvelous to look at how much the game has changed over the years. Many of the fundamentals of the game that were taught to our parents no longer exist, yet the enthusiasm and spirit behind the play of the vast majority of the players is consistent and heartening. Regardless of how the game evolves, the play at the amateur level (not the paid-under-the-table-at-NCAA-schools level) is still fast-paced and thrilling. To all of those caught in their playoff runs, and those who went down swinging, we salute you. Enjoy...until next time.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Whale kills trainer at Sea World. Blogger torches career counselor.
How to begin? With sadness, I have to report that a giant aqueous mammal killed the 110-pound person that was 'training' the animal. The woman had not even begun the show yet...she was explaining to the crowd what they'd be seeing when the whale was released into the show pool, where it promptly bolted for the unsuspecting trainer and snatched her off the platform. The crowd was promptly evacuated and the park closed.
My question, while trying not to sound too callous, is: Does the liability insurance that Sea World carries cover the therapy for the children in the stands? Usually you have to tune in to National Geographic or MMA events to witness potential death, but at Sea World? Imagine if Mickey got his head lopped off while standing near Space Mountain and the trams...you think that might jar a six-year old? Maybe, just maybe, it is time for society to quit corralling wild animals for profiteering and just take an ocean cruise if one wants to go to see them.
The bigger issue to 7DB, of course, is how these folks land in these jobs. Does anyone really 'dream' of working with animals with limited personality and limited ways to express it? What college career counselor said, "So, ya wanna work with giant, slimy mammals that are held in captivity? That's what you're career profile suggests you'd be best at!" ?
Can the prospect of making $35,000 a year and smelling like fish all day seem appealing? At least underwater pier repair pays well for its high risk. There are many noble folks that work for peanuts (or smelt) and enjoy their experiences with animals and rescue centers, and they should be respected for their choice. Working with show animals, however, seems a bit to 'carny' for an intentional career move.
Siegfried or Roy (I cannot remember which) made big piles of loot, then lost his face to this 'profession'. The money cannot replace what must appear in his mirror every morning...the whole prospect of that being a way to make a living, solely off of the curiosity of people about animals that they may not see in suburbia, creeps me out. At least zoos rescue some animals. Cesar Millan teaches people how to interact with them. Sea World teaches us...how to make whales beg for food and do parlor tricks?
As an adult, feel badly for the young woman. As a person, feel like this is preventable in the future by not lighting the hoops on fire and wondering why Shamu wants human pool toys afterwards.
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For the twelve remaining Winter Olympic fans, something to ponder:
In 2006, the Olympics were in Turin, making tape delay a necessity. In 2010, they are in Vancouver, yet still tape-delayed...but only IN THE TIME ZONE THEY ARE OCCURRING IN. Some numbnuts in Podunk, VA gets the events live at 3pm local, yet they're not shown when they occur in the area they occur in. So, to the question:
Does anyone care?
Probably not, as ratings are off and people are dying at the Games. Ugh. Can we get to spring training yet?
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Tiger Woods put his midlife crisis on display with a press conference...er, live video of him reading a statement. Woods' mother was present, but his wife was not.
Thoughts on this event range from indifference to mild humor. The humor? The Golf Writer's Association of America voted to decline its three invitations to the event, citing that there was no need to send qualified golf writers to an event where no questions would be taken.
First, did you know there was a Golf Writer's Association of America? Are they union? Do they have a Collective Bargaining Agreement, or are they a trade organization? Who organized the 'vote'? We have, as a society, now reached critical mass on the First Amendment being used as a bludgening tool.
Many journalists are angry with Tiger for not taking questions, be it from them or one of their colleagues, and cite that as the reason for their 'protest'. For the first time, a blogger will come out in defense of Tiger since he started playing Hide the Cannoli with local Hooters wait staff...
The only person that Woods has to answer to is his wife, and he doesn't even have to answer to her if he's not interested in staying married. This guy, and this guy alone, created the need for the swollen press corp following golf. All of those protesting d-bags should be tithing 10% of their checks to the Tiger Woods Foundation, not trying to take potshots from their ever-dwindling newsrooms. He broke no law, yet you bloodsucking morons are hanging outside of a preschool to take pictures of his toddlers? Who owes whom?
In short, Tiger will come back, win a buttload of tournaments, get endorsements from the hypocrites who dropped him and the others who didn't, make his fellow golfers very rich and very resentful, and then do what all other golfers do...play until they are 83 years old or so.
Yes, I earlier lumped the golf press in with the tabloids. Yes, it is deserved. The behavior involved in chasing around a guy with enough of his own doing on his plate is bad enough, but to criticize how he voluntarily addresses those paycheck leeches is just outrageous. Be thankful he said anything at all...and have no fear, you'll get to take your shots at him when he plays his next tournament. Losers.
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The Old Spice commercials are still going, long after the Super Bowl ended. "The tickets are now diamonds! I'm on a horse..." True words of wisdom.
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LPBA champ Kelly Kulick made history last month, by entering the men's Tournament of Champions and walking with the winner's check of $40 grand and a two-year exemption on the Tour.
Kulick was granted entry by winning the LPBA Championship earlier in the season...oh, sorry. I should stop now and explain that this is about bowling. K. Sorry about that...
The winner of the LPBA tourney had the option of entering the men's field, and Kulick maximized her opportunity, blowing Chris Barnes back into the lounge with a 265-195 thumping. Losing at bowling by 70 is bad. Losing to a girl...no different. Barnes has nothing to be embarrassed about...other than losing by 70. Kulick averaged 226 over the 60-game tournament, sharing similar conditions and the same lanes as the men she left eating mozzarella sticks at the snack bar. On equal footing, she owned her fellow keglers.
Bowling alley terminology is fun, isn't it? Congrats to Kelly Kulick. We all look forward to...not hearing about your sport again for some time to come in the mainstream media. We will have to hear about Michelle Wie again a few hundred times, though...Ugh.
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More to come in the next day or two...have slacked off in my two-or-three a week plan, but will redouble efforts here. Mazel Tov!
My question, while trying not to sound too callous, is: Does the liability insurance that Sea World carries cover the therapy for the children in the stands? Usually you have to tune in to National Geographic or MMA events to witness potential death, but at Sea World? Imagine if Mickey got his head lopped off while standing near Space Mountain and the trams...you think that might jar a six-year old? Maybe, just maybe, it is time for society to quit corralling wild animals for profiteering and just take an ocean cruise if one wants to go to see them.
The bigger issue to 7DB, of course, is how these folks land in these jobs. Does anyone really 'dream' of working with animals with limited personality and limited ways to express it? What college career counselor said, "So, ya wanna work with giant, slimy mammals that are held in captivity? That's what you're career profile suggests you'd be best at!" ?
Can the prospect of making $35,000 a year and smelling like fish all day seem appealing? At least underwater pier repair pays well for its high risk. There are many noble folks that work for peanuts (or smelt) and enjoy their experiences with animals and rescue centers, and they should be respected for their choice. Working with show animals, however, seems a bit to 'carny' for an intentional career move.
Siegfried or Roy (I cannot remember which) made big piles of loot, then lost his face to this 'profession'. The money cannot replace what must appear in his mirror every morning...the whole prospect of that being a way to make a living, solely off of the curiosity of people about animals that they may not see in suburbia, creeps me out. At least zoos rescue some animals. Cesar Millan teaches people how to interact with them. Sea World teaches us...how to make whales beg for food and do parlor tricks?
As an adult, feel badly for the young woman. As a person, feel like this is preventable in the future by not lighting the hoops on fire and wondering why Shamu wants human pool toys afterwards.
-----------------------------------------------------------
For the twelve remaining Winter Olympic fans, something to ponder:
In 2006, the Olympics were in Turin, making tape delay a necessity. In 2010, they are in Vancouver, yet still tape-delayed...but only IN THE TIME ZONE THEY ARE OCCURRING IN. Some numbnuts in Podunk, VA gets the events live at 3pm local, yet they're not shown when they occur in the area they occur in. So, to the question:
Does anyone care?
Probably not, as ratings are off and people are dying at the Games. Ugh. Can we get to spring training yet?
-----------------------------------------------------------
Tiger Woods put his midlife crisis on display with a press conference...er, live video of him reading a statement. Woods' mother was present, but his wife was not.
Thoughts on this event range from indifference to mild humor. The humor? The Golf Writer's Association of America voted to decline its three invitations to the event, citing that there was no need to send qualified golf writers to an event where no questions would be taken.
First, did you know there was a Golf Writer's Association of America? Are they union? Do they have a Collective Bargaining Agreement, or are they a trade organization? Who organized the 'vote'? We have, as a society, now reached critical mass on the First Amendment being used as a bludgening tool.
Many journalists are angry with Tiger for not taking questions, be it from them or one of their colleagues, and cite that as the reason for their 'protest'. For the first time, a blogger will come out in defense of Tiger since he started playing Hide the Cannoli with local Hooters wait staff...
The only person that Woods has to answer to is his wife, and he doesn't even have to answer to her if he's not interested in staying married. This guy, and this guy alone, created the need for the swollen press corp following golf. All of those protesting d-bags should be tithing 10% of their checks to the Tiger Woods Foundation, not trying to take potshots from their ever-dwindling newsrooms. He broke no law, yet you bloodsucking morons are hanging outside of a preschool to take pictures of his toddlers? Who owes whom?
In short, Tiger will come back, win a buttload of tournaments, get endorsements from the hypocrites who dropped him and the others who didn't, make his fellow golfers very rich and very resentful, and then do what all other golfers do...play until they are 83 years old or so.
Yes, I earlier lumped the golf press in with the tabloids. Yes, it is deserved. The behavior involved in chasing around a guy with enough of his own doing on his plate is bad enough, but to criticize how he voluntarily addresses those paycheck leeches is just outrageous. Be thankful he said anything at all...and have no fear, you'll get to take your shots at him when he plays his next tournament. Losers.
-----------------------------------------------------------
The Old Spice commercials are still going, long after the Super Bowl ended. "The tickets are now diamonds! I'm on a horse..." True words of wisdom.
-----------------------------------------------------------
LPBA champ Kelly Kulick made history last month, by entering the men's Tournament of Champions and walking with the winner's check of $40 grand and a two-year exemption on the Tour.
Kulick was granted entry by winning the LPBA Championship earlier in the season...oh, sorry. I should stop now and explain that this is about bowling. K. Sorry about that...
The winner of the LPBA tourney had the option of entering the men's field, and Kulick maximized her opportunity, blowing Chris Barnes back into the lounge with a 265-195 thumping. Losing at bowling by 70 is bad. Losing to a girl...no different. Barnes has nothing to be embarrassed about...other than losing by 70. Kulick averaged 226 over the 60-game tournament, sharing similar conditions and the same lanes as the men she left eating mozzarella sticks at the snack bar. On equal footing, she owned her fellow keglers.
Bowling alley terminology is fun, isn't it? Congrats to Kelly Kulick. We all look forward to...not hearing about your sport again for some time to come in the mainstream media. We will have to hear about Michelle Wie again a few hundred times, though...Ugh.
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More to come in the next day or two...have slacked off in my two-or-three a week plan, but will redouble efforts here. Mazel Tov!
Friday, February 12, 2010
How do I get a 'Hood Pass? They sell 'em at the DMV?
There was a t-shirt, kinda popular during the early to mid-90's, that had the famous Playboy logo bunny in the middle and, in big block lettering underneath, said 'I read the articles'. If that is true now, John Mayer is either a poser or a racist. Truthfully, he's neither, but he has a history of being very candid in interviews, which causes him trouble. When one does not use a filter on his out-loud voice, one will find trouble...
An excerpt from the interview, coming in the March 2010 issue from Playboy:
MAYER: ...My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.
PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’"
PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.
MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.
PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.
There is a list of comments to make here, but look at the tone. No shock value is gained, the interviewer goes on to ask him to name specific black women he finds attractive, then veers back to his time with Jennifer Aniston and their break-up. Mayer also spends much of the interview discussing his love of masturbation and how much of a 'douche bag' people find him to be. He also mentioned that he was addicted to Jessica Simpson, saying that sex with her was "...napalm. Sexual napalm." Mayer issued a tearful apology during a concert last night, admitting he hurt people that love him with his stupid remarks in this interview.
Society likes when people mess up, loves it when they apologize, then complains when their idols are not candid and 'real' enough for them. Kudos to Mayer for candor. Boo to Mayer for being a whiny douchebag with a racist appendage. The question remaining is whether he tries to date a high-profile black woman to clear his sexual resume of this blight of commentary, thus being a very 'douche bag' thing to do, or whether he just shuts up and plays guitar, finding new batches of young women going through puberty to forgive him. Time will tell...
The full interview is available here (free, with no nudie pics to mess up your work day)
http://www.playboy.com/articles/john-mayer-playboy-interview/index.html
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The NBA All-Star Game is this weekend, along with the commensurate dunk contest, HORSE contest and performers like those that should be playing the Super Bowl (Shakira, Alicia Keys) at Cowboys Stadium in Dallas. Er, 'North Texas', since Dallas could confuse people into thinking that it is Dallas, Arkansas or Dallas, Vermont, I suppose...
This weekend each year has attracted many celebrities, actors, artists and athletes from other major sports, leading to the NBA extravaganza being coined 'the black Super Bowl' by those in the media too cool to call it the NBA All-Star Weekend. While 7DB rests assured that David Stern does not appreciate that reference, one has to question the logic of holding it at a football stadium, even one with big screen scoreboards big enough to signal life on other planets.
The estimated attendance for the actual ticketed game is 92,000. That is disturbing, if only for the 84,000 of them that will be too far away to watch the game live, and instead will be reliant on the 60-yard long screen hanging above their heads to see it. Spending the hundreds (or thousands) of dollars on the entry fee to watch a really big TV seems out of reach for most of the NBA's fan base, and the precedent-setting nature of moving events to bigger and bigger buildings to generate more revenue must be succeeding at taking fans completely out of consideration when planning these debacles.
With the exception of hockey (for the un-initiated, it is a game played on ice by skating people trying to launch a small rubber 'puck' past a goalkeeper into a small net), no event is better live than on HDTV anymore. None. The 'experience' of going to a baseball game has been lost to these new stadiums building amusement parks in the concourses to distract the children who get bored watching the field for three hours to see 48 seconds of action take place. True fans cannot even see what pitch is thrown, nor whether it actually was a strike when the ump called it. Football is almost indecipherable from the field level if you have learned the game watching it on TV. Basketball is a great live game...if you are within about 100 feet of the court. That leaves out most of the estimated 20 million fans who watch NBA games on a regular basis on cable or local TV.
It leaves 7DB wondering, quietly in the friendly confines of Casa du 7DB, could professional sports 'jump the shark'? Will the need for a national pastime and venues funded by taxpayer subsidy be a novelty of the past? Few Americans (although fervent) embrace the passion of fans of soccer (er, 'Futbol') enough to want to spend $120 to sit six rows from the parking lot to see the green speck kick the white ball past the blue speck into the net, and no other sport in America draws a passionate fan base in enough numbers to warrant the money necessary to drive the sport into popularity. It won't happen soon, as many Baby Boomers will be spending their Social Security checks from money they 'earned' before going to while away their days at the Indians/Marlins afternoon games each summer, but soon after that there will be a void of people who will pay for something that they can see so much better from home. Yet another reason for the public to become hermits, I guess...
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Washington, D.C. has been inundated by record snowfalls these last few weeks, snowing in many folks and causing our federal government to shut down its non-essential operations for the last few days. Strangely, it seems that Congressmen are still gathering...
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The 2010 Winter Olympics are kicking off in Vancouver tonight. Opening Ceremonies are historically exciting and fun, then the Closing Ceremony is the usual anti-climax two weeks later. In the middle, much of the world will get to see some of what makes Vanocuver one of the most beautiful cities in the world, from the gleaming Olympic Village (built by private contractors who defaulted, then bailed out by the city of Vancouver at the potential cost of $1 billion, although that is Canadian money, so that may be Monopoly money as far as I know) to its beautiful vistas and extraordinary sporting venues. The skiing and snowboarding will be held in Whistler, B.C., about three hours away from Vancouver by bus, and that will provide even more scenic splendor for the HDTV set referenced earlier.
Connecting to an earlier thought, how do the Olympics keep happening? NBC is planning on losing $300 million, the City of Vancouver will need help from their federal government to not go bankrupt, and the athletes are not even paid. The number of folks willing to dedicate years of their lives to master the art of the luge must be waning, yes?
Civic and national pride have carried many of these sports through the technology explosion of the second half of the twentieth century, but reality suggests that these things will fade in our lifetimes, being replaced by "Survivor: Coral Gables" and a Howie Mandel-shaped robot hosting "Deal or No Deal" on Univision. Developing the fan experience in a profitable fashion is the future of sport, it seems. This realization makes the sports fan in all of us die a little each day...go enjoy the minor league baseball games and the lacrosse leagues while you can, folks.
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Will Brett Favre retire? Will he change his mind? Will he play for the Vikings next year? Yes, yes and yes. Next topic, please.
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Without going too deep into the science of it, it appears that global cooling has happened this year. Or global warming has been happening for the last 25 years, or that we were in danger of an Ice Age in 1975.
Statistics have been created for three reasons: to compare Babe Ruth to Hank Aaron, to count large stacks of money and to lie. None of these three can be considered valid to the vast majority of the world, so how does society find solutions? The answer, one that does not have a Wikipedia page, is common sense.
If something smells bad, it is probably not good for the air in high doses (think cow poop = methane). If something does not occur naturally, it may have side effects (i.e., Pamela Anderson's breasts). If somebody is making a crapload of money on it, the will to make it will supercede the previous two statements (fossil fuels, anybody?).
It will remain a challenge for generations to come to determine how to advance without by-product. The solution lies in not giving up on the challenge while monitoring personal waste. Pursue the future without laying waste to what surrounds you now. Recycle what you can, don't s**t where you eat, spay and neuter animals that were 'domesticated' before awareness of proliferation, refrain from burning plastics in the fireplace...all common sense. Quite simply, use your head, and Al Gore will fade away. And he'd be happy to do so, I promise...
An excerpt from the interview, coming in the March 2010 issue from Playboy:
MAYER: ...My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.
PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?
MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’"
PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.
MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.
PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?
MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.
There is a list of comments to make here, but look at the tone. No shock value is gained, the interviewer goes on to ask him to name specific black women he finds attractive, then veers back to his time with Jennifer Aniston and their break-up. Mayer also spends much of the interview discussing his love of masturbation and how much of a 'douche bag' people find him to be. He also mentioned that he was addicted to Jessica Simpson, saying that sex with her was "...napalm. Sexual napalm." Mayer issued a tearful apology during a concert last night, admitting he hurt people that love him with his stupid remarks in this interview.
Society likes when people mess up, loves it when they apologize, then complains when their idols are not candid and 'real' enough for them. Kudos to Mayer for candor. Boo to Mayer for being a whiny douchebag with a racist appendage. The question remaining is whether he tries to date a high-profile black woman to clear his sexual resume of this blight of commentary, thus being a very 'douche bag' thing to do, or whether he just shuts up and plays guitar, finding new batches of young women going through puberty to forgive him. Time will tell...
The full interview is available here (free, with no nudie pics to mess up your work day)
http://www.playboy.com/articles/john-mayer-playboy-interview/index.html
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The NBA All-Star Game is this weekend, along with the commensurate dunk contest, HORSE contest and performers like those that should be playing the Super Bowl (Shakira, Alicia Keys) at Cowboys Stadium in Dallas. Er, 'North Texas', since Dallas could confuse people into thinking that it is Dallas, Arkansas or Dallas, Vermont, I suppose...
This weekend each year has attracted many celebrities, actors, artists and athletes from other major sports, leading to the NBA extravaganza being coined 'the black Super Bowl' by those in the media too cool to call it the NBA All-Star Weekend. While 7DB rests assured that David Stern does not appreciate that reference, one has to question the logic of holding it at a football stadium, even one with big screen scoreboards big enough to signal life on other planets.
The estimated attendance for the actual ticketed game is 92,000. That is disturbing, if only for the 84,000 of them that will be too far away to watch the game live, and instead will be reliant on the 60-yard long screen hanging above their heads to see it. Spending the hundreds (or thousands) of dollars on the entry fee to watch a really big TV seems out of reach for most of the NBA's fan base, and the precedent-setting nature of moving events to bigger and bigger buildings to generate more revenue must be succeeding at taking fans completely out of consideration when planning these debacles.
With the exception of hockey (for the un-initiated, it is a game played on ice by skating people trying to launch a small rubber 'puck' past a goalkeeper into a small net), no event is better live than on HDTV anymore. None. The 'experience' of going to a baseball game has been lost to these new stadiums building amusement parks in the concourses to distract the children who get bored watching the field for three hours to see 48 seconds of action take place. True fans cannot even see what pitch is thrown, nor whether it actually was a strike when the ump called it. Football is almost indecipherable from the field level if you have learned the game watching it on TV. Basketball is a great live game...if you are within about 100 feet of the court. That leaves out most of the estimated 20 million fans who watch NBA games on a regular basis on cable or local TV.
It leaves 7DB wondering, quietly in the friendly confines of Casa du 7DB, could professional sports 'jump the shark'? Will the need for a national pastime and venues funded by taxpayer subsidy be a novelty of the past? Few Americans (although fervent) embrace the passion of fans of soccer (er, 'Futbol') enough to want to spend $120 to sit six rows from the parking lot to see the green speck kick the white ball past the blue speck into the net, and no other sport in America draws a passionate fan base in enough numbers to warrant the money necessary to drive the sport into popularity. It won't happen soon, as many Baby Boomers will be spending their Social Security checks from money they 'earned' before going to while away their days at the Indians/Marlins afternoon games each summer, but soon after that there will be a void of people who will pay for something that they can see so much better from home. Yet another reason for the public to become hermits, I guess...
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Washington, D.C. has been inundated by record snowfalls these last few weeks, snowing in many folks and causing our federal government to shut down its non-essential operations for the last few days. Strangely, it seems that Congressmen are still gathering...
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The 2010 Winter Olympics are kicking off in Vancouver tonight. Opening Ceremonies are historically exciting and fun, then the Closing Ceremony is the usual anti-climax two weeks later. In the middle, much of the world will get to see some of what makes Vanocuver one of the most beautiful cities in the world, from the gleaming Olympic Village (built by private contractors who defaulted, then bailed out by the city of Vancouver at the potential cost of $1 billion, although that is Canadian money, so that may be Monopoly money as far as I know) to its beautiful vistas and extraordinary sporting venues. The skiing and snowboarding will be held in Whistler, B.C., about three hours away from Vancouver by bus, and that will provide even more scenic splendor for the HDTV set referenced earlier.
Connecting to an earlier thought, how do the Olympics keep happening? NBC is planning on losing $300 million, the City of Vancouver will need help from their federal government to not go bankrupt, and the athletes are not even paid. The number of folks willing to dedicate years of their lives to master the art of the luge must be waning, yes?
Civic and national pride have carried many of these sports through the technology explosion of the second half of the twentieth century, but reality suggests that these things will fade in our lifetimes, being replaced by "Survivor: Coral Gables" and a Howie Mandel-shaped robot hosting "Deal or No Deal" on Univision. Developing the fan experience in a profitable fashion is the future of sport, it seems. This realization makes the sports fan in all of us die a little each day...go enjoy the minor league baseball games and the lacrosse leagues while you can, folks.
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Will Brett Favre retire? Will he change his mind? Will he play for the Vikings next year? Yes, yes and yes. Next topic, please.
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Without going too deep into the science of it, it appears that global cooling has happened this year. Or global warming has been happening for the last 25 years, or that we were in danger of an Ice Age in 1975.
Statistics have been created for three reasons: to compare Babe Ruth to Hank Aaron, to count large stacks of money and to lie. None of these three can be considered valid to the vast majority of the world, so how does society find solutions? The answer, one that does not have a Wikipedia page, is common sense.
If something smells bad, it is probably not good for the air in high doses (think cow poop = methane). If something does not occur naturally, it may have side effects (i.e., Pamela Anderson's breasts). If somebody is making a crapload of money on it, the will to make it will supercede the previous two statements (fossil fuels, anybody?).
It will remain a challenge for generations to come to determine how to advance without by-product. The solution lies in not giving up on the challenge while monitoring personal waste. Pursue the future without laying waste to what surrounds you now. Recycle what you can, don't s**t where you eat, spay and neuter animals that were 'domesticated' before awareness of proliferation, refrain from burning plastics in the fireplace...all common sense. Quite simply, use your head, and Al Gore will fade away. And he'd be happy to do so, I promise...
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
The Saints went Marching, yada yada...
Usually the build-up to the Super Bowl and all of the requisite excitement would have warranted many, many blathering posts by now. Instead, that was left to those who will have to shut their cake holes for the next five months, since they can speak out loud of nothing that does not tie in to the status of Dwight Freeney's ankle without sounding like they live in their mother's basement and blog from a table next to their comic book collection and pricing catalogs. Instead, a playoffs-in-review:
J-E-T-S! Jets, Jets, Jets!
They played well. They have a rookie QB (Mark Sanchez, from USC). That rookie QB has a cutesy nickname (The Sanchize). That QB will probably go the way of Scott Brown, pose nude for Cosmo and run for governor of California in fifteen years. Nonetheless, it gave New Yorkers (er, New Jersey residents, since the team plays and practices in New Jersey) something to cheer for between shovel loads of icy sludge being flung from their driveways.
The Jets had the NFL's top-rated defense during the regular season, proving them to be a very good football team coached by a rather obese man (Rex Ryan) who casually mentioned in a recent interview that his daily caloric intake is 7,000. Per day. By himself. Holy s**t. It is very possible that we will see a cardiac episode replayed from multiple camera angles in the not-too-distant future...
In any event, that great defense and rotund coach got smoked like a pack of Kool's in the second half of the AFC Championship game by Peyton Manning and the Colts. Number one defense, meet Peyton Manning. Peyton, meet the Jets suddenly porous secondary and non-tackling linebackers and safeties. Enjoy each other.
Vikings, Favre, cut out hearts in the Heartland...again.
Malcolm Gladwell, renowned author of books like 'The Tipping Point' and 'Blink', is, among other things, an avid sports fan. 7DB wonders how he would 'thin-slice' the 2009 Minnesota Vikings season with Brett Favre at quarterback and Brad Childress as the head coach. With all apologies to Mr. Gladwell in advance, allow me to speculate:
The Minnesota Vikings have a long history of coming up just short in the Big Game, having lost the NFL's championship game four time since 1969, as well as having come up just short on three other notable occasions (1987, 1998, 2000). With this in mind, a reach out to a veteran field general makes good sense, as the assembled talent is on par with other premiere teams in the sport in all aspects other than quarterback.
Brett Favre is a quarterback who has won before, having won more games than any other NFL quarterback, including the 1997 NFL championship while employed by the Green Bay Packers. His devil-may-care style at quarterback is a high-risk/high-reward gambit, and it is one that the Vikings would be well-justified in taking on. So, why shouldn't they?
In the last two seasons coming into the 2009 season, Favre has ended his team's season with poor play during the playoff season. The 2007 Packers and the 2008 Jets both began making reservations for golf course tee times after Favre threw ill-advised passes that the opposing team caught to advance to the league's ultimate game. The high-risk/high-reward model brought these two teams that far, yet ended identically.
The Vikings have their own history with these types of defeat (Darrin Nelson's unfortunate fumble against Washington in 1987, Gary Anderson's first missed kick of the year in the 1998 game to qualify for the Super Bowl) and, if history can be quantified, these two entities match up perfectly to create another sad ending for their mutual seasons.
While very few of the players are the same from these examples, the one holding the football last seems to be the same. Viking fans should beware of this tendency.
Once again, I thank the mythical version of Malcolm Gladwell for his appearance.
As a Viking household, Casa du 7DB kept a skeptical distance from embracing this year's squad, despite a strong regular season and a rather efficient season from Favre (his best statistical season ever). The 'tipping point' came in the fourth quarter of the NFC Championship game against the eventual champions from New Orleans. After a solid showing by the Vikings defense, Favre and the offense began driving the ball at the end of the game, needing only a few yards to be in position for their reliable kicker to score the game-winning field goal. Some unfortunate play calls from the coaches left Minnesota with a third-and-two from about the 35 yard line of the Saints. A 52-yard field goal, while no gimmie, is very makeable for a veteran like Ryan Longwell.
This is the point in time. When a fan believes that everything in the balance can be changed by their behavior, despite being far removed from the field of play. No trips to the kitchen were allowed. The remote had to stay in the left hand. All of the anti-jinx behavior was in full effect...and then...
There is a picture in my wallet, taken at the holiday work picture day that big companies like my father's employer ran in the 70's. This one was taken in December 1976, coincidentally the last time the Vikings went to the Super Bowl, and the year Family 7DB attended a pro football game for the first time. All the images of being able to replace that photo in the wallet with one of Mr. and Ms. 7DB taken at the wedding filled the mind. 2009! Maybe this was the year, since all we did this year was so exciting and wonderful...wedding, moving into a big, new house...good luck charms, all of that...
Ms. 7DB says "Don't do it!", knowing of jinxes as a lifelong fan of the Michigan Wolverines football program.
.............of course, you know what happens now, right?.........
The Vikings promptly call a bad time-out, then send too many players into the huddle before play resumed, causing a five-yard penalty. Then Favre, who killed the Vikings for years as the QB of the Packers, kills the Vikings as the QB of the Vikings by throwing back across his body while running, making an ineffective pass that was easily intercepted by the Saints. If Favre fell down where he threw from, Longwell kicks for the win from 56. Damn.
Game was still tied, but momentum was in motion. Overtime was inevitable. Woulda bet all future earnings that New Orleans wins that coin flip and makes a field goal after driving 30 yards. Ugh. Stomach Punch.
I could go on for a long bit about whys and whats, but it is the destiny of that team. Ugh.
Saints and Colts turned out surprising, but heart-warming. Super Bowl MVP Drew Brees holding up his 18-month old son wearing itty-bitty headphones to not deafen him in that atmosphere will be the enduring image of that game, despite Peyton Manning looking like the bully down the street kicked him in the groin and stole his Bomb Pop. 7DB hopes that those who worked so hard to help rebuild New Orleans and the area after Hurricane Katrina were able to take time to savor some positive press about their city for awhile, before they have to go back to mopping up vomit from college kids during Mardi Gras this week. They deserve it.
--------------------------------------------------
Barack Obama is a record-setting President. He has made more speeches than the last 23 Presidents combined (rough estimate), and took shots at the Supreme Court during his State of the Union Address.
While admittedly playing a tough hand dealt to him by circumstance, the self-glorification tour of a populist President selling snake oil...er, health care...is not what those who supported a more moderate Democrat than Hillary in the primaries bargained for. Obama has proven to be an activist President with a liberal bent, and this will not serve the Congressmen and -women well when they run again after backing this dude. Sadly for the Republicans, the party is dominated by severely right-leaning people in the eyes of the media, so no apparent countermeasure is available at this time to dream about in 2012. Which leads us back to our 2012 naked Presidential candidate, Scott Brown...
(...more to follow on the pending Scott Brown / Sarah Palin videos being produced in the San Fernando Valley as we speak...)
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Some may have noticed that Seven Dollar Bill added a Support Haiti button on this very page. Hopefully, many of you have chipped in with a text to 90999 (write 'Haiti' in the text, and it sends ten bucks to the Red Cross for support) or via other means. Let us not make the mistake we have made in other lands, and forget about this catastrophe in the next news cycle.
This is a rare opportunity to rebuild a country known more for its flawed governments, corrupt business and civic leaders, and violent criminal history than for its natural beauty and passionate citizenry. Papa Doc and Baby Doc Duvalier were probably the only things most people between 25 and 70 thought of when the name Haiti was mentioned. Now the thought of 200,000-plus dead people and a country's capital lying in ruins with no war involved dominate the images.
As a policy, 7DB does not endorse foreign aid for most soveriegn counrties. Low-interest loans and trade deals can be good, but handouts generally do not work. In Haiti's case, however, the international community has the power to free a people trapped in poverty and political oppression with money and technology, and we as a global citizenry would be foolish not to seize the opportunity. Scratch the check, people...especially you folks in Iceland. You made us listen to Bjork, and this is a good way to pay us all back.
---------------------------------------------------
In closing, the differences between Northern and Southern California are multiple and stark. The biggest difference? Northern California suffers through four months of crappy weather and constant (albeit mostly mild) precipitation, then Southern California thieves the water to grow lush grass on their lawns while they go roller blading on the Strand. This makes SoCal feel and act entitled and makes NoCal (oops, it's called 'NorCal') bitter like Boston sports fans. No wonder they wanted to split this state in two...
J-E-T-S! Jets, Jets, Jets!
They played well. They have a rookie QB (Mark Sanchez, from USC). That rookie QB has a cutesy nickname (The Sanchize). That QB will probably go the way of Scott Brown, pose nude for Cosmo and run for governor of California in fifteen years. Nonetheless, it gave New Yorkers (er, New Jersey residents, since the team plays and practices in New Jersey) something to cheer for between shovel loads of icy sludge being flung from their driveways.
The Jets had the NFL's top-rated defense during the regular season, proving them to be a very good football team coached by a rather obese man (Rex Ryan) who casually mentioned in a recent interview that his daily caloric intake is 7,000. Per day. By himself. Holy s**t. It is very possible that we will see a cardiac episode replayed from multiple camera angles in the not-too-distant future...
In any event, that great defense and rotund coach got smoked like a pack of Kool's in the second half of the AFC Championship game by Peyton Manning and the Colts. Number one defense, meet Peyton Manning. Peyton, meet the Jets suddenly porous secondary and non-tackling linebackers and safeties. Enjoy each other.
Vikings, Favre, cut out hearts in the Heartland...again.
Malcolm Gladwell, renowned author of books like 'The Tipping Point' and 'Blink', is, among other things, an avid sports fan. 7DB wonders how he would 'thin-slice' the 2009 Minnesota Vikings season with Brett Favre at quarterback and Brad Childress as the head coach. With all apologies to Mr. Gladwell in advance, allow me to speculate:
The Minnesota Vikings have a long history of coming up just short in the Big Game, having lost the NFL's championship game four time since 1969, as well as having come up just short on three other notable occasions (1987, 1998, 2000). With this in mind, a reach out to a veteran field general makes good sense, as the assembled talent is on par with other premiere teams in the sport in all aspects other than quarterback.
Brett Favre is a quarterback who has won before, having won more games than any other NFL quarterback, including the 1997 NFL championship while employed by the Green Bay Packers. His devil-may-care style at quarterback is a high-risk/high-reward gambit, and it is one that the Vikings would be well-justified in taking on. So, why shouldn't they?
In the last two seasons coming into the 2009 season, Favre has ended his team's season with poor play during the playoff season. The 2007 Packers and the 2008 Jets both began making reservations for golf course tee times after Favre threw ill-advised passes that the opposing team caught to advance to the league's ultimate game. The high-risk/high-reward model brought these two teams that far, yet ended identically.
The Vikings have their own history with these types of defeat (Darrin Nelson's unfortunate fumble against Washington in 1987, Gary Anderson's first missed kick of the year in the 1998 game to qualify for the Super Bowl) and, if history can be quantified, these two entities match up perfectly to create another sad ending for their mutual seasons.
While very few of the players are the same from these examples, the one holding the football last seems to be the same. Viking fans should beware of this tendency.
Once again, I thank the mythical version of Malcolm Gladwell for his appearance.
As a Viking household, Casa du 7DB kept a skeptical distance from embracing this year's squad, despite a strong regular season and a rather efficient season from Favre (his best statistical season ever). The 'tipping point' came in the fourth quarter of the NFC Championship game against the eventual champions from New Orleans. After a solid showing by the Vikings defense, Favre and the offense began driving the ball at the end of the game, needing only a few yards to be in position for their reliable kicker to score the game-winning field goal. Some unfortunate play calls from the coaches left Minnesota with a third-and-two from about the 35 yard line of the Saints. A 52-yard field goal, while no gimmie, is very makeable for a veteran like Ryan Longwell.
This is the point in time. When a fan believes that everything in the balance can be changed by their behavior, despite being far removed from the field of play. No trips to the kitchen were allowed. The remote had to stay in the left hand. All of the anti-jinx behavior was in full effect...and then...
There is a picture in my wallet, taken at the holiday work picture day that big companies like my father's employer ran in the 70's. This one was taken in December 1976, coincidentally the last time the Vikings went to the Super Bowl, and the year Family 7DB attended a pro football game for the first time. All the images of being able to replace that photo in the wallet with one of Mr. and Ms. 7DB taken at the wedding filled the mind. 2009! Maybe this was the year, since all we did this year was so exciting and wonderful...wedding, moving into a big, new house...good luck charms, all of that...
Ms. 7DB says "Don't do it!", knowing of jinxes as a lifelong fan of the Michigan Wolverines football program.
.............of course, you know what happens now, right?.........
The Vikings promptly call a bad time-out, then send too many players into the huddle before play resumed, causing a five-yard penalty. Then Favre, who killed the Vikings for years as the QB of the Packers, kills the Vikings as the QB of the Vikings by throwing back across his body while running, making an ineffective pass that was easily intercepted by the Saints. If Favre fell down where he threw from, Longwell kicks for the win from 56. Damn.
Game was still tied, but momentum was in motion. Overtime was inevitable. Woulda bet all future earnings that New Orleans wins that coin flip and makes a field goal after driving 30 yards. Ugh. Stomach Punch.
I could go on for a long bit about whys and whats, but it is the destiny of that team. Ugh.
Saints and Colts turned out surprising, but heart-warming. Super Bowl MVP Drew Brees holding up his 18-month old son wearing itty-bitty headphones to not deafen him in that atmosphere will be the enduring image of that game, despite Peyton Manning looking like the bully down the street kicked him in the groin and stole his Bomb Pop. 7DB hopes that those who worked so hard to help rebuild New Orleans and the area after Hurricane Katrina were able to take time to savor some positive press about their city for awhile, before they have to go back to mopping up vomit from college kids during Mardi Gras this week. They deserve it.
--------------------------------------------------
Barack Obama is a record-setting President. He has made more speeches than the last 23 Presidents combined (rough estimate), and took shots at the Supreme Court during his State of the Union Address.
While admittedly playing a tough hand dealt to him by circumstance, the self-glorification tour of a populist President selling snake oil...er, health care...is not what those who supported a more moderate Democrat than Hillary in the primaries bargained for. Obama has proven to be an activist President with a liberal bent, and this will not serve the Congressmen and -women well when they run again after backing this dude. Sadly for the Republicans, the party is dominated by severely right-leaning people in the eyes of the media, so no apparent countermeasure is available at this time to dream about in 2012. Which leads us back to our 2012 naked Presidential candidate, Scott Brown...
(...more to follow on the pending Scott Brown / Sarah Palin videos being produced in the San Fernando Valley as we speak...)
-----------------------------------------------------------
Some may have noticed that Seven Dollar Bill added a Support Haiti button on this very page. Hopefully, many of you have chipped in with a text to 90999 (write 'Haiti' in the text, and it sends ten bucks to the Red Cross for support) or via other means. Let us not make the mistake we have made in other lands, and forget about this catastrophe in the next news cycle.
This is a rare opportunity to rebuild a country known more for its flawed governments, corrupt business and civic leaders, and violent criminal history than for its natural beauty and passionate citizenry. Papa Doc and Baby Doc Duvalier were probably the only things most people between 25 and 70 thought of when the name Haiti was mentioned. Now the thought of 200,000-plus dead people and a country's capital lying in ruins with no war involved dominate the images.
As a policy, 7DB does not endorse foreign aid for most soveriegn counrties. Low-interest loans and trade deals can be good, but handouts generally do not work. In Haiti's case, however, the international community has the power to free a people trapped in poverty and political oppression with money and technology, and we as a global citizenry would be foolish not to seize the opportunity. Scratch the check, people...especially you folks in Iceland. You made us listen to Bjork, and this is a good way to pay us all back.
---------------------------------------------------
In closing, the differences between Northern and Southern California are multiple and stark. The biggest difference? Northern California suffers through four months of crappy weather and constant (albeit mostly mild) precipitation, then Southern California thieves the water to grow lush grass on their lawns while they go roller blading on the Strand. This makes SoCal feel and act entitled and makes NoCal (oops, it's called 'NorCal') bitter like Boston sports fans. No wonder they wanted to split this state in two...
Monday, January 18, 2010
So much time has passed, I forgot where I left off...
...but I'll see if I can catch a thread and go from there.
"There are three points of view from which a writer can be considered:
he may be considered as a story teller, as a teacher, and as an enchanter.
A major writer combines these three -
storyteller, teacher, enchanter -
but it is the enchanter in him that predominates and makes him a major writer."
-Vladimir Nabokov
During the substantial time away from the blog, 7DB has been searching out where in the writing spectrum preferred authors fall. Where does Seven Dollar Bill see this going, if anywhere at all?
Then the realization hit that this was meant to be an outlet for the backlog of miscellany that builds up when one gets caught up in daily life. Holiday seasons and quality time with Ms. 7DB took time into new directions...and pleasant ones, at that.
There have been hints dropped before, but the time for a major project is at hand. 7DB will be attempting a long form bit of fiction, and will be soliciting information from samples posted periodically. As the rules of this space allow, all input is welcome, appreciated and consensually solicited. No immediate info on the topic matter, but it will be a fictitious coming-of-age story, and it will not represent anything like the Technicolor menageries that have been popping up in the Book Club-to-Cinema set recently. John Fante will be a cited influence...
Enough of the ramble...just a warning for what is to come in some random column posts in the future. Now on to the backlog of interesting topics:
*It is remarkable that the Tiger Woods saga has come and gone since last a key was struck here, but a car accident, prescription drugs, infidelity (-ies) and divorce just seemed too easy to touch on. So many angles, and none verifiable due to their subject being a recluse when not hawking Buicks and beating the stuffing out of the country club kids we all despised as children. Hell, Tiger bought himself a yacht and named it Privacy. Need more be said?
Well...actually, yes. Those same country club kids-turned millionaires away from their inheritances are now feeling like firing away at the king of their sport. Many have teed off on Tiger's trevails, some for the infidelity and some for the arrogance that made him think he was above it all. Jesper Parnevik, the supplier of Norwegian nannies to PGA golfers as concubines, apparently, has decided that Tiger is a piece of crap. Jesper also decided that someone should care about his opinion. Someone feel free to tell Jesper to keep his trap shut until he quits housing 19-year old sets of voluptuous blonde twins at his house under the guise of employment as nannies, and also until he can learn that checkered pants, painter's hats and striped shirts look like he dresses in the dark.
The PGA Tour and its inhabitants are now being very vocal that all will be ok, even without Tiger. This mindset ignores the fact that purses have nearly tripled due to his presence, something that even Jack and Arnie cannot claim. Sponsors in a down economy have been dumping out of Team Tiger quickly since the events of Thanksgiving weekend, and their wild exodus from the PGA is pending if Woods elects to stay away for awhile. Ratings were dropping throughout the '90s until Eldrick showed up, and a similar decline will be witnessed again as the build-up to the majors begins next month. Is Davis Love III and Vijay Singh what people will tune in to watch?
When Tiger comes back, he and his caddie Stevie Williams will undoubtedly have ten hecklers ejected, arrested and flogged for yelling 'Philanderer!' during his backswing, then the inevitable destruction of all those uptight yuppie putzes he competes against will continue as if nothing has changed. His family life is a cyclone, he dates trashy golddiggers on the side and he's already lost more in endorsements than Michael Vick did upon his visit to the pokey. All of this with no crime committed. I will save the commentary on the hypocrisy of the public reaction, and leave it with an acknowledgement that he did to his children what his father did to him. That 'happiness' created the misogynist that works so manically that supposedly grown men tremble at the sight of him hitting a golf ball. It also created a billionaire cruising Perkins Restaurants for late-night hookups...sadness is all there is. Either that, or a membership to AshelyMadison.com
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Casa du 7DB recently became a Blackberry-free zone. The new Google phone made Ms. 7DB all googly-eyed, so the house is now filled with Droids instead of Emoticon smiley faces. The switch was prompted by improved browser capabilities, email management systems and a general relief that Research in Motion (RIM) will no longer get paid to create network outages from this house.
The business model is so unique that it bears mentioning one annoying facet: the consumer pays for the outages. If the satellite or cable goes out at the house, one calls TimeWarnerCastTv or whomever, and gets free HBO for two months as an apology. If the gas line provided no gas to power the water heater, the gas company would be out instantly to fix it. Blackberry outage? Yeah, we know about it...tough tulips. Call the provider, they blame RIM. Contact RIM, they say that the individual provider is responsible to credit back and outage time. Basically, they flip the middle finger at the consumer and shut off service if the bill is three days past due.
All in all, the HTC Droid Eris gets the Preliminary, Only Had it for a week and still Learning to Use it Stamp of Approval from this columnist, and no one under this roof will miss dealing with Crackberry issues ever again.
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In December, there was an interview on NPR (radio stations are limited in options near Casa du 7DB) of a woman who lives in rural Michigan. Joan Graham owns about 150 acres of property near Metamora, a bit north of Detroit. The picteresque property is a horse ranch with plenty of trees and streams and such, and Ms. Graham, having no heirs to be concerned with, wishes to donate the land to a conservancy that would protect the land for what it is...natural space.
(As an aside here, the nobility of the wishes of an 80-year old woman is remarkable and makes for a good story to remind us that possessions aren't everything. It gets creepy from here, though.)
Ms. Graham determined that, as a way to give back to Mother Earth, she would like to be buried on her property near a favorite tree. After sharing this wish with her chosen organization, the difficulties began, as no one running a charitable conservancy has any background in the mortuary business. There is also some legal issues to address, plus the general gross-out factor of some animals digging up her remains while a field trip of fourth-graders wanders a trail looking for a sandpiper to take a picture of.
To make things even murkier, this woman decided she would be willing to share the property with others wishing to be buried there, as long as they were not embalmed and could 'provide nourishment' to the fauna and wildlife on the property. This way, future residents of the area would be disinclined to develop the property, as it would be a sacred burial site...even though, to be sacred, it would denote a culture or religion, and no specifications on that have been disclosed, so...
This is one of many reasons why 7DB is against burial. Quit trying to own something in perpetuity. It is a large planet that existed for millions of years before you got here, and will keep spinning for a good while after you take leave. Be it cremation or something yet-to-be developed, return yourself to the minerals that made you. No culture can argue against not wanting to take up space for future generations. Plus, it is way less disgusting than attending a service surrounding a rotting carcass. If Ms. Graham wishes to preserve the property as a safe haven for animals and nature, three cheers to her for not being greedy. But leaving a shrine to oneself is counter to the altruism expressed with the gift. 7DB hopes she lives many more years and can find the answer she wants, while also hoping she sees the conflict in her current message.
------------------------------------------------
The NFL playoffs have been marching along, with four teams remaining at the time of this writing, include the personal fave of this columnist, Ye Ole Minnesota Vikings. Led by the world's oldest juvenile (with both good and bad connotations), the Vikings decimated America's Team (well, the 1977 version of America's Team, which was the Dallas Cowboys. I think the Patriots are now the owners of the moniker, as they have won a bunch, been caught cheating and are now hated like the Yankees are in baseball) by a final score of something like 3,518 to 3. Brett Favre threw a big Eff-You touchdown with two minutes remaining to hammer home the final score, then sprinted the field like a ten-year old.
It is hard to dislike his energy on the field. It is hard to argue with the results (13-4 so far). It is also hard to digest that this guy has retired three times in 41
months, and will probably do so again, just to avoid spring practice with the team.
--------------------------------------
*On a serious NFL note, Chicago Bears defensive lineman Gaines Adams, the former #4 overall pick of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers just three years ago, collapsed and died at his family home this weekend. He was 26, and died of a heart attack, believed to be caused by an enlarged heart that he may have had since birth.
7DB hopes that it is not something that could have been tested for in the battery of tests that the NFL puts its players through, as controversy near sadness like this just makes people angry. Twenty-six? That is just not right. Best thoughts and prayers to his family...*
----------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, the Sta-Puff Marshmallow Man has coached Favre's old squad, the New York Jets, to an improbable playoff meeting with the Indianapolis Colts next weekend. Rex Ryan's team wins with solid defense and a good rushing attack. His rookie quarterback, Mark Sanchez, has shaken the stigma of playing at USC and actually developed in to a non-losing NFL player (see: Palmer, Carson and Leinart, Matt). Sanchez is not good by any stretch, but has succeeded in not screwing his team with bad turnovers and sloppy play. All of this is for naught, as the Colts will treat them like a bird treats liner paper in a cage.
The real story of the playoffs, however, is the N'Awlins Resurrection. The New Orleans Saints are playing exciting, high-scoring football on offense, and playing opportunistic defense. All of this while now being a strong and vibrant city again, after Katrina's damage just five years ago...
Wait a sec. There are still hundreds of houses sitting in the same shape they were in after the water receded. Over a fourth of the population did not return. The mayor is still besieged by rampant crime and infrastructure problems, despite billions being poured into the city from the state and federal governments. At least Reggie Bush scored a couple of touchdowns with his girlfriend watching...
----------------------------------------------------
While on the topic of areas decimated by natural disaster, Haiti is f****d. This will be at least $100 billion and five years to bring back to functionality (although that term may be a vast improvement over what was there before), and there is no way to replace the estimated 140,000 people who have lost their lives, nor the potentially hundreds of thousands more still exposed to disease and little health care in the aftermath. A terrible, terrible situation that has shown many people to be of good character in immediate responses with resources and manpower that should make many proud to be from a place capable of such generosity. It will be a test of character for the Haitians, including the ones who dominate the taxi industry in coastal Florida. Those folks send money home via Western Union weekly, much as the Mexican produce workers (legal and otherwise) do in the West. So, for those visiting Orlando or Miami over the next few months, tip your cabbie well, as he is telling the truth that someone back home needs his help.
Then again, Rush Limbaugh can tell people that he already gave to Haitian aid by paying his taxes and everyone will point and decry him to be evil. While what he said is technically true (U.S. pledged $100 million the day after the earthquake struck), the part where he mentioned it to be good to contribute privately was not noted in the news reports. The topic came up as the White House announced they had created a way to contribute to Haitian aid via the White House website, and Rush was working with a news cycle that demanded he bash someone or lose sponsors (I'm guessing)...both sides look foolish for participating in that discussion, Rush for consciously trying to be 'edgy and controversial' and White House spokesman Robert Gibbs for calling Rush 'stupid' for reading the Executive's own press release. (Rush may be stupid for other reasons, such as oxycontin and opposition to gun control in prison towns, but this was not a proper use of terminology by a guy paid to handle wording well.) Just help the people and quit grandstanding, both of you, or I'm sending you to your rooms...in Port-au-Prince.
*The texting 'Haiti' to 90999 bit has already raised $10 million, ten dollars at a time. In a tough economy, that means one million people with cell phones kicked in a Hamilton to help. Be proud of America when it deserves it...
-------------------------------------------------------
With the forty-three other topics that rest on the 7DB list of grumps, one could safely assume more is to come soon. Many readers over the holidays mentioned that they noticed the impromptu sabbatical, and that is the kind of gratifying feedback that many aspiring writers never know. With hopes that all of you had good holidays with good food and better libations, I bid you adieu...until later this week.
"There are three points of view from which a writer can be considered:
he may be considered as a story teller, as a teacher, and as an enchanter.
A major writer combines these three -
storyteller, teacher, enchanter -
but it is the enchanter in him that predominates and makes him a major writer."
-Vladimir Nabokov
During the substantial time away from the blog, 7DB has been searching out where in the writing spectrum preferred authors fall. Where does Seven Dollar Bill see this going, if anywhere at all?
Then the realization hit that this was meant to be an outlet for the backlog of miscellany that builds up when one gets caught up in daily life. Holiday seasons and quality time with Ms. 7DB took time into new directions...and pleasant ones, at that.
There have been hints dropped before, but the time for a major project is at hand. 7DB will be attempting a long form bit of fiction, and will be soliciting information from samples posted periodically. As the rules of this space allow, all input is welcome, appreciated and consensually solicited. No immediate info on the topic matter, but it will be a fictitious coming-of-age story, and it will not represent anything like the Technicolor menageries that have been popping up in the Book Club-to-Cinema set recently. John Fante will be a cited influence...
Enough of the ramble...just a warning for what is to come in some random column posts in the future. Now on to the backlog of interesting topics:
*It is remarkable that the Tiger Woods saga has come and gone since last a key was struck here, but a car accident, prescription drugs, infidelity (-ies) and divorce just seemed too easy to touch on. So many angles, and none verifiable due to their subject being a recluse when not hawking Buicks and beating the stuffing out of the country club kids we all despised as children. Hell, Tiger bought himself a yacht and named it Privacy. Need more be said?
Well...actually, yes. Those same country club kids-turned millionaires away from their inheritances are now feeling like firing away at the king of their sport. Many have teed off on Tiger's trevails, some for the infidelity and some for the arrogance that made him think he was above it all. Jesper Parnevik, the supplier of Norwegian nannies to PGA golfers as concubines, apparently, has decided that Tiger is a piece of crap. Jesper also decided that someone should care about his opinion. Someone feel free to tell Jesper to keep his trap shut until he quits housing 19-year old sets of voluptuous blonde twins at his house under the guise of employment as nannies, and also until he can learn that checkered pants, painter's hats and striped shirts look like he dresses in the dark.
The PGA Tour and its inhabitants are now being very vocal that all will be ok, even without Tiger. This mindset ignores the fact that purses have nearly tripled due to his presence, something that even Jack and Arnie cannot claim. Sponsors in a down economy have been dumping out of Team Tiger quickly since the events of Thanksgiving weekend, and their wild exodus from the PGA is pending if Woods elects to stay away for awhile. Ratings were dropping throughout the '90s until Eldrick showed up, and a similar decline will be witnessed again as the build-up to the majors begins next month. Is Davis Love III and Vijay Singh what people will tune in to watch?
When Tiger comes back, he and his caddie Stevie Williams will undoubtedly have ten hecklers ejected, arrested and flogged for yelling 'Philanderer!' during his backswing, then the inevitable destruction of all those uptight yuppie putzes he competes against will continue as if nothing has changed. His family life is a cyclone, he dates trashy golddiggers on the side and he's already lost more in endorsements than Michael Vick did upon his visit to the pokey. All of this with no crime committed. I will save the commentary on the hypocrisy of the public reaction, and leave it with an acknowledgement that he did to his children what his father did to him. That 'happiness' created the misogynist that works so manically that supposedly grown men tremble at the sight of him hitting a golf ball. It also created a billionaire cruising Perkins Restaurants for late-night hookups...sadness is all there is. Either that, or a membership to AshelyMadison.com
------------------------------------------------------
Casa du 7DB recently became a Blackberry-free zone. The new Google phone made Ms. 7DB all googly-eyed, so the house is now filled with Droids instead of Emoticon smiley faces. The switch was prompted by improved browser capabilities, email management systems and a general relief that Research in Motion (RIM) will no longer get paid to create network outages from this house.
The business model is so unique that it bears mentioning one annoying facet: the consumer pays for the outages. If the satellite or cable goes out at the house, one calls TimeWarnerCastTv or whomever, and gets free HBO for two months as an apology. If the gas line provided no gas to power the water heater, the gas company would be out instantly to fix it. Blackberry outage? Yeah, we know about it...tough tulips. Call the provider, they blame RIM. Contact RIM, they say that the individual provider is responsible to credit back and outage time. Basically, they flip the middle finger at the consumer and shut off service if the bill is three days past due.
All in all, the HTC Droid Eris gets the Preliminary, Only Had it for a week and still Learning to Use it Stamp of Approval from this columnist, and no one under this roof will miss dealing with Crackberry issues ever again.
------------------------------------------------
In December, there was an interview on NPR (radio stations are limited in options near Casa du 7DB) of a woman who lives in rural Michigan. Joan Graham owns about 150 acres of property near Metamora, a bit north of Detroit. The picteresque property is a horse ranch with plenty of trees and streams and such, and Ms. Graham, having no heirs to be concerned with, wishes to donate the land to a conservancy that would protect the land for what it is...natural space.
(As an aside here, the nobility of the wishes of an 80-year old woman is remarkable and makes for a good story to remind us that possessions aren't everything. It gets creepy from here, though.)
Ms. Graham determined that, as a way to give back to Mother Earth, she would like to be buried on her property near a favorite tree. After sharing this wish with her chosen organization, the difficulties began, as no one running a charitable conservancy has any background in the mortuary business. There is also some legal issues to address, plus the general gross-out factor of some animals digging up her remains while a field trip of fourth-graders wanders a trail looking for a sandpiper to take a picture of.
To make things even murkier, this woman decided she would be willing to share the property with others wishing to be buried there, as long as they were not embalmed and could 'provide nourishment' to the fauna and wildlife on the property. This way, future residents of the area would be disinclined to develop the property, as it would be a sacred burial site...even though, to be sacred, it would denote a culture or religion, and no specifications on that have been disclosed, so...
This is one of many reasons why 7DB is against burial. Quit trying to own something in perpetuity. It is a large planet that existed for millions of years before you got here, and will keep spinning for a good while after you take leave. Be it cremation or something yet-to-be developed, return yourself to the minerals that made you. No culture can argue against not wanting to take up space for future generations. Plus, it is way less disgusting than attending a service surrounding a rotting carcass. If Ms. Graham wishes to preserve the property as a safe haven for animals and nature, three cheers to her for not being greedy. But leaving a shrine to oneself is counter to the altruism expressed with the gift. 7DB hopes she lives many more years and can find the answer she wants, while also hoping she sees the conflict in her current message.
------------------------------------------------
The NFL playoffs have been marching along, with four teams remaining at the time of this writing, include the personal fave of this columnist, Ye Ole Minnesota Vikings. Led by the world's oldest juvenile (with both good and bad connotations), the Vikings decimated America's Team (well, the 1977 version of America's Team, which was the Dallas Cowboys. I think the Patriots are now the owners of the moniker, as they have won a bunch, been caught cheating and are now hated like the Yankees are in baseball) by a final score of something like 3,518 to 3. Brett Favre threw a big Eff-You touchdown with two minutes remaining to hammer home the final score, then sprinted the field like a ten-year old.
It is hard to dislike his energy on the field. It is hard to argue with the results (13-4 so far). It is also hard to digest that this guy has retired three times in 41
months, and will probably do so again, just to avoid spring practice with the team.
--------------------------------------
*On a serious NFL note, Chicago Bears defensive lineman Gaines Adams, the former #4 overall pick of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers just three years ago, collapsed and died at his family home this weekend. He was 26, and died of a heart attack, believed to be caused by an enlarged heart that he may have had since birth.
7DB hopes that it is not something that could have been tested for in the battery of tests that the NFL puts its players through, as controversy near sadness like this just makes people angry. Twenty-six? That is just not right. Best thoughts and prayers to his family...*
----------------------------------------------
Meanwhile, the Sta-Puff Marshmallow Man has coached Favre's old squad, the New York Jets, to an improbable playoff meeting with the Indianapolis Colts next weekend. Rex Ryan's team wins with solid defense and a good rushing attack. His rookie quarterback, Mark Sanchez, has shaken the stigma of playing at USC and actually developed in to a non-losing NFL player (see: Palmer, Carson and Leinart, Matt). Sanchez is not good by any stretch, but has succeeded in not screwing his team with bad turnovers and sloppy play. All of this is for naught, as the Colts will treat them like a bird treats liner paper in a cage.
The real story of the playoffs, however, is the N'Awlins Resurrection. The New Orleans Saints are playing exciting, high-scoring football on offense, and playing opportunistic defense. All of this while now being a strong and vibrant city again, after Katrina's damage just five years ago...
Wait a sec. There are still hundreds of houses sitting in the same shape they were in after the water receded. Over a fourth of the population did not return. The mayor is still besieged by rampant crime and infrastructure problems, despite billions being poured into the city from the state and federal governments. At least Reggie Bush scored a couple of touchdowns with his girlfriend watching...
----------------------------------------------------
While on the topic of areas decimated by natural disaster, Haiti is f****d. This will be at least $100 billion and five years to bring back to functionality (although that term may be a vast improvement over what was there before), and there is no way to replace the estimated 140,000 people who have lost their lives, nor the potentially hundreds of thousands more still exposed to disease and little health care in the aftermath. A terrible, terrible situation that has shown many people to be of good character in immediate responses with resources and manpower that should make many proud to be from a place capable of such generosity. It will be a test of character for the Haitians, including the ones who dominate the taxi industry in coastal Florida. Those folks send money home via Western Union weekly, much as the Mexican produce workers (legal and otherwise) do in the West. So, for those visiting Orlando or Miami over the next few months, tip your cabbie well, as he is telling the truth that someone back home needs his help.
Then again, Rush Limbaugh can tell people that he already gave to Haitian aid by paying his taxes and everyone will point and decry him to be evil. While what he said is technically true (U.S. pledged $100 million the day after the earthquake struck), the part where he mentioned it to be good to contribute privately was not noted in the news reports. The topic came up as the White House announced they had created a way to contribute to Haitian aid via the White House website, and Rush was working with a news cycle that demanded he bash someone or lose sponsors (I'm guessing)...both sides look foolish for participating in that discussion, Rush for consciously trying to be 'edgy and controversial' and White House spokesman Robert Gibbs for calling Rush 'stupid' for reading the Executive's own press release. (Rush may be stupid for other reasons, such as oxycontin and opposition to gun control in prison towns, but this was not a proper use of terminology by a guy paid to handle wording well.) Just help the people and quit grandstanding, both of you, or I'm sending you to your rooms...in Port-au-Prince.
*The texting 'Haiti' to 90999 bit has already raised $10 million, ten dollars at a time. In a tough economy, that means one million people with cell phones kicked in a Hamilton to help. Be proud of America when it deserves it...
-------------------------------------------------------
With the forty-three other topics that rest on the 7DB list of grumps, one could safely assume more is to come soon. Many readers over the holidays mentioned that they noticed the impromptu sabbatical, and that is the kind of gratifying feedback that many aspiring writers never know. With hopes that all of you had good holidays with good food and better libations, I bid you adieu...until later this week.
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