How do I get a 'Hood Pass? They sell 'em at the DMV?

There was a t-shirt, kinda popular during the early to mid-90's, that had the famous Playboy logo bunny in the middle and, in big block lettering underneath, said 'I read the articles'. If that is true now, John Mayer is either a poser or a racist. Truthfully, he's neither, but he has a history of being very candid in interviews, which causes him trouble. When one does not use a filter on his out-loud voice, one will find trouble...

An excerpt from the interview, coming in the March 2010 issue from Playboy:

MAYER: ...My two biggest hits are “Your Body Is a Wonderland” and “Daughters.” If you think those songs are pandering, then you’ll think I’m a douche bag. It’s like I come on very strong. I am a very…I’m just very. V-E-R-Y. And if you can’t handle very, then I’m a douche bag. But I think the world needs a little very. That’s why black people love me.

PLAYBOY: Because you’re very?

MAYER: Someone asked me the other day, “What does it feel like now to have a hood pass?” And by the way, it’s sort of a contradiction in terms, because if you really had a hood pass, you could call it a nigger pass. Why are you pulling a punch and calling it a hood pass if you really have a hood pass? But I said, “I can’t really have a hood pass. I’ve never walked into a restaurant, asked for a table and been told, ‘We’re full.’"

PLAYBOY: It is true; a lot of rappers love you. You recorded with Common and Kanye West, played live with Jay-Z.

MAYER: What is being black? It’s making the most of your life, not taking a single moment for granted. Taking something that’s seen as a struggle and making it work for you, or you’ll die inside. Not to say that my struggle is like the collective struggle of black America. But maybe my struggle is similar to one black dude’s.

PLAYBOY: Do black women throw themselves at you?

MAYER: I don’t think I open myself to it. My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and a fuckin’ David Duke cock. I’m going to start dating separately from my dick.


There is a list of comments to make here, but look at the tone. No shock value is gained, the interviewer goes on to ask him to name specific black women he finds attractive, then veers back to his time with Jennifer Aniston and their break-up. Mayer also spends much of the interview discussing his love of masturbation and how much of a 'douche bag' people find him to be. He also mentioned that he was addicted to Jessica Simpson, saying that sex with her was "...napalm. Sexual napalm." Mayer issued a tearful apology during a concert last night, admitting he hurt people that love him with his stupid remarks in this interview.

Society likes when people mess up, loves it when they apologize, then complains when their idols are not candid and 'real' enough for them. Kudos to Mayer for candor. Boo to Mayer for being a whiny douchebag with a racist appendage. The question remaining is whether he tries to date a high-profile black woman to clear his sexual resume of this blight of commentary, thus being a very 'douche bag' thing to do, or whether he just shuts up and plays guitar, finding new batches of young women going through puberty to forgive him. Time will tell...

The full interview is available here (free, with no nudie pics to mess up your work day)

http://www.playboy.com/articles/john-mayer-playboy-interview/index.html

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The NBA All-Star Game is this weekend, along with the commensurate dunk contest, HORSE contest and performers like those that should be playing the Super Bowl (Shakira, Alicia Keys) at Cowboys Stadium in Dallas. Er, 'North Texas', since Dallas could confuse people into thinking that it is Dallas, Arkansas or Dallas, Vermont, I suppose...

This weekend each year has attracted many celebrities, actors, artists and athletes from other major sports, leading to the NBA extravaganza being coined 'the black Super Bowl' by those in the media too cool to call it the NBA All-Star Weekend. While 7DB rests assured that David Stern does not appreciate that reference, one has to question the logic of holding it at a football stadium, even one with big screen scoreboards big enough to signal life on other planets.

The estimated attendance for the actual ticketed game is 92,000. That is disturbing, if only for the 84,000 of them that will be too far away to watch the game live, and instead will be reliant on the 60-yard long screen hanging above their heads to see it. Spending the hundreds (or thousands) of dollars on the entry fee to watch a really big TV seems out of reach for most of the NBA's fan base, and the precedent-setting nature of moving events to bigger and bigger buildings to generate more revenue must be succeeding at taking fans completely out of consideration when planning these debacles.

With the exception of hockey (for the un-initiated, it is a game played on ice by skating people trying to launch a small rubber 'puck' past a goalkeeper into a small net), no event is better live than on HDTV anymore. None. The 'experience' of going to a baseball game has been lost to these new stadiums building amusement parks in the concourses to distract the children who get bored watching the field for three hours to see 48 seconds of action take place. True fans cannot even see what pitch is thrown, nor whether it actually was a strike when the ump called it. Football is almost indecipherable from the field level if you have learned the game watching it on TV. Basketball is a great live game...if you are within about 100 feet of the court. That leaves out most of the estimated 20 million fans who watch NBA games on a regular basis on cable or local TV.

It leaves 7DB wondering, quietly in the friendly confines of Casa du 7DB, could professional sports 'jump the shark'? Will the need for a national pastime and venues funded by taxpayer subsidy be a novelty of the past? Few Americans (although fervent) embrace the passion of fans of soccer (er, 'Futbol') enough to want to spend $120 to sit six rows from the parking lot to see the green speck kick the white ball past the blue speck into the net, and no other sport in America draws a passionate fan base in enough numbers to warrant the money necessary to drive the sport into popularity. It won't happen soon, as many Baby Boomers will be spending their Social Security checks from money they 'earned' before going to while away their days at the Indians/Marlins afternoon games each summer, but soon after that there will be a void of people who will pay for something that they can see so much better from home. Yet another reason for the public to become hermits, I guess...

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Washington, D.C. has been inundated by record snowfalls these last few weeks, snowing in many folks and causing our federal government to shut down its non-essential operations for the last few days. Strangely, it seems that Congressmen are still gathering...

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The 2010 Winter Olympics are kicking off in Vancouver tonight. Opening Ceremonies are historically exciting and fun, then the Closing Ceremony is the usual anti-climax two weeks later. In the middle, much of the world will get to see some of what makes Vanocuver one of the most beautiful cities in the world, from the gleaming Olympic Village (built by private contractors who defaulted, then bailed out by the city of Vancouver at the potential cost of $1 billion, although that is Canadian money, so that may be Monopoly money as far as I know) to its beautiful vistas and extraordinary sporting venues. The skiing and snowboarding will be held in Whistler, B.C., about three hours away from Vancouver by bus, and that will provide even more scenic splendor for the HDTV set referenced earlier.

Connecting to an earlier thought, how do the Olympics keep happening? NBC is planning on losing $300 million, the City of Vancouver will need help from their federal government to not go bankrupt, and the athletes are not even paid. The number of folks willing to dedicate years of their lives to master the art of the luge must be waning, yes?

Civic and national pride have carried many of these sports through the technology explosion of the second half of the twentieth century, but reality suggests that these things will fade in our lifetimes, being replaced by "Survivor: Coral Gables" and a Howie Mandel-shaped robot hosting "Deal or No Deal" on Univision. Developing the fan experience in a profitable fashion is the future of sport, it seems. This realization makes the sports fan in all of us die a little each day...go enjoy the minor league baseball games and the lacrosse leagues while you can, folks.

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Will Brett Favre retire? Will he change his mind? Will he play for the Vikings next year? Yes, yes and yes. Next topic, please.

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Without going too deep into the science of it, it appears that global cooling has happened this year. Or global warming has been happening for the last 25 years, or that we were in danger of an Ice Age in 1975.

Statistics have been created for three reasons: to compare Babe Ruth to Hank Aaron, to count large stacks of money and to lie. None of these three can be considered valid to the vast majority of the world, so how does society find solutions? The answer, one that does not have a Wikipedia page, is common sense.

If something smells bad, it is probably not good for the air in high doses (think cow poop = methane). If something does not occur naturally, it may have side effects (i.e., Pamela Anderson's breasts). If somebody is making a crapload of money on it, the will to make it will supercede the previous two statements (fossil fuels, anybody?).

It will remain a challenge for generations to come to determine how to advance without by-product. The solution lies in not giving up on the challenge while monitoring personal waste. Pursue the future without laying waste to what surrounds you now. Recycle what you can, don't s**t where you eat, spay and neuter animals that were 'domesticated' before awareness of proliferation, refrain from burning plastics in the fireplace...all common sense. Quite simply, use your head, and Al Gore will fade away. And he'd be happy to do so, I promise...